Purse Dialing

I learned an extremely important life lesson on Monday... lock thy cellphone keypad... or else you may unknowingly dial the last person in the entire world that you would ever want to dial... When I finally noticed (and had a two minute mental swearing rampage) i get a text...

"I have call display in case you had forgotten..."

Crap.

FYI... you were definitely not so special that after 4 months I still pine for you and cannot resist crank calling you to hear your voice... Jesus... what's it like being the president of your own fanclub?

"My purse called. It has a mind of its own. Please accept my apologies on its behalf."

Disaster averted? Never... never is my dealings with the opposite sex anything other than a bloody trainwreck with bodyparts scattered... twisted metal... and shards of glass....

"RING RING RING" You are kidding me... seriously... you want to chat? "RING RING RING" I would rather sit trough OKLAHOMA TEN TIMES than have a 5 minute conversation with you... [silence]

Phew...

[buzz][buzz] You have one new text...

[ping] You have one new email...

Apparently... disaster does not want to be averted.

Ok so I am not going to cut and paste the gory details of this for you all but let me just say this...

YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT THE TRIP YOU AND YOUR NEW "FRIEND" TOOK... WITH THE PERSON YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO ON THAT TRIP WITH...

You had to flee the island due to incoming hurricane? You both got sick while there?

K-A-R-M-A.